i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
