I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
