idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
