If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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