his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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