You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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