I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
