I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
