I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
