I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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