Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
