The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
