Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
