I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
