can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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