one two three fourrrrnication!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You were trust falling into bushes
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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