If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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