garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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