Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Randomize