It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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