Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The power of my boobs compel you
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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