I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize