summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
