carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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