She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
