hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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