so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
