I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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