Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize