Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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