Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
