kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
