I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
