It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
