why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
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