I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
