the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
