Pregnant stripper...not hot.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
