hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize