She said her name was "party"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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