We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
