I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I deserve this hangover.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
