Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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