at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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