shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
