he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My breasts were aching with rage.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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