i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
