Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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