The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
