So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
