pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
