I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
