i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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