Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize