I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize