Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
