The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
