i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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