But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
