Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
