Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
