i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
