is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The Olympian is in my bed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
