I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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